June 12, 2024 5:25 pm

Abbie Essel writes: Inside the mind of an African virgin

Virginity is or used to be the pride and virtue treasured by women in Africa. Now due to modern civilization, virginity is not held in high regard like it used to. It was even considered sacred many many years ago.

Virginity is mostly associated with women than men and in many parts of Africa, there are so many rituals pertaining to virginity. Now, be it due to Western influence or modern civilization, only a handful of women have decided to remain virgins till marriage. These women have based their decisions on many reasons which can be either traditional or spiritual or religious.

Abena Dokuaa is a 22-year old virgin in Africa and she narrates what motivates her decision to remain a virgin. “It really is scary”, she says. “I really have no idea what my reason is. I think it has to do with my religious and traditional background. Being the first child, I want to set an example for my younger siblings to follow.”

When asked if there are no temptations, she had this to say. ” Oh there are a lot of them! I have been tempted on more than one occasion but I do not know what stops me every time. Of course it has cost me some romantic relationships and even friendships but I think perseverance is what has held me throughout my life.

Obviously, there is always this fear lurking at the back of my mind when I think of my virginity. The fear of losing it to a total stranger while being drunk at a party. Or that I will be raped in a dark alley in an unknown part of town. That will be just horrible. To think that your ‘v-card’ was lost due to rape will be heartbreaking. “

When asked if she will give it up to the one she feels is ‘Mr. Right’, she said, “it is funny how some women say ‘I’m waiting for Mr. Right ‘ but when they finally find the one they think is ‘Mr. Right’, they find eveything wrong after two or three years together. You cannot be so sure that this person is right or wrong no matter how deep the emotional connection you two share is. Because you know, people can pretend. I’m better safe than sorry.

However, it all boils down to being happy no matter what you decide. Temptations will always arise but how you deal with them is all that matters. Your happiness should be guaranteed at the end of the day”.

Source: mediaghananews

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